we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
