We named our party play list daddy issues
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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