He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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