sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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