I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
