Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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