He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We left an ass print on the piano.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
