Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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