She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
