i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
This is my gift to your gina
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
