operation have a gay friend backfired
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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