How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
she peed on how many people?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
