Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
