Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
