I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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