I puked a lego.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
