I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
