Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
