oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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