Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
