what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
