When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize