I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
