Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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