I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
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