people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
