Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
