I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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