I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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