I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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