dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
