He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
please don't ironically join a cult
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