Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
