Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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