youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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