Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize