We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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