I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Randomize
