Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
