you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
