her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Randomize
