Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
