my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
