My girlfriend figured out who you are.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Randomize
