so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
