He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
