Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I wish my penis had an off switch
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
