Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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