Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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