uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
