So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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