Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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