All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
