Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
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Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
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The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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