PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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