but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize