I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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