his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
