omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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