It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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