I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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