she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
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i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
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I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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