real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
