Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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